It is clear to me that I am growing tired – tired of being where I am and doing the same thing. . . which is nothing.
Seeing the same things; speaking with the same people, having the same problems, but never getting anything done.
I understand that my brain no longer has the capacity to deal with life as is and that my tired soul demands change. I am human like everyone else and I owe nobody my life or my sanity.
I desire change.
The ability to overcome all my obstacles and begin my journey the way it should have been.
I lack the maturity to offer somebody my life when I cannot take care of myself. I know I am not a strong independent man who demands respect and earns it. There is no way a person as weak and lost as me can have a child or marry anyone.
The more I see myself the more I notice how sad and depressed I am. The people around me belittle me constantly, so my confidence and self-esteem are pretty much non-existence.
I want so much out of my life, but I got confused and allowed myself to be led astray. Even if those around me treat me wrong – it is my own fault for allowing myself to get to this point.
I am tired, so tired.
So it is time to create some change I can finally be happy with – even if those around me become angry and hate me for it.